I almost found the one but not quite!

Having nothing to do today, I decided to check out my former hanging out place for looking guys. I don't necessarily intended to meet guys this day since I already have one but my legs are itching to go places and not to stay at home all day.

For the first two hours, I just contented myself in checking out the scene and looking or I should say rating the guys at the place that time. I find some cuties but not necessarily worthy of my second glance. Most are old matron gays obviously looking for young blood, which I guessed to fill their thirst for fresh meat, hehehe!

As I was checking out, one guy caught my attention. Let's call him D. I fill you in later why. Anyways, this guy is sort of suplado so I did not consider flirting with him rather I decided to just wait for the others to flirt with and pursue me. I ended up entertaining two guys who are not necessarily my type but so as not to waste my time being too choosy I exchanged a word or two with them. Later as the conversation went to asking of contact info, I immediately excused myself. I did not even give my real name just in case they turned out to be stalkers.

As I was sitting alone just killing time, the guy that has caught my attention earlier is actually checking me out. I flirted quite obviously and in no time I had the guy with me, all mine!

I learned that he is one of us, meaning he is also gay but the discreet type, which explains why I am naming him "D". I was really attracted to him and I noticed that the feeling is mutual. Out of nowhere, we suddenly found ourselves kissing each other. It started from just mere smack on the cheeks and lips to the point where we are french kisssing each other without care to those that were watching us. We are really so into each other that we almost made it out. Thank heavens that we still have an ounce of self control left or we would have scandalized the place. Talk about being discreet!

D is a conversant person. He seems to have a say or two about almost everything. He is not a dull companion either. In between kisses we fill each other's some personal info and work related topics. We have a lot in common, both licensed professionals, both afraid of commitment and are both part-Japanese.

He confessed to be a true-green La Salista. And believed that Ateneans were mere second rate compared to them. When I told him that I actually do have Atenista friends, he suspected that I am also an Atenean to which I honestly told him I am not. I am a true blooded PUPian, I told him and he told me he had a hint earlier by telling me good accountants usually come from my alma mater.

I was so smithen with his charms that I found myself opening up a little too close for comfort. I can't help it if the one embracing and kissing me is actually MY TYPE! He is the perfect persona of my guy as etched in my mind all these years. Chubby and chinito, I don't know why but I really had a penchant for chubby and chinito guys. I was like doing all the moves so that we can finally hook up that I lied about having a boyfriend.

Which has given me another dillema. I realized that I am not really in love with my present boyfriend but rather I was only in love with LOVE! That is having someone caring for me. Checking what I am doing as I wake up in the morning till I go to bed at night. I really want to end this relationship but I am dreading the day that I have to when that time comes. I know I have to do it the soonest possible time but it is really hard breaking someone's heart who has been very good to you from the start. I am already hearing the song "Break it to me gently" in my mind and I can't help but feel guilty. I guess my conscience is nagging me.

Another thing is that D will be migrating to Florida by August to work and live there for good. He told me that if we ever hook up that would be for only two months. I told him that I am ok for anything as long as I would not be dictated to what I should and should not do, the major reason why I hate being committed to someone. We are very much alike with regards to commitment that I can almost predict what's going on in his mind. I hate to say it but that would be our first and last encounter. I really know cause I am like that! The most that I can expect for us is only f%@k buddies and that would be like wishing for the stars and the moon!

I think sometimes life is unfair, and this one is definitely one of those times. :-(