Hypocrisy -
1. [n] insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have
2. [n] an expression of agreement that is not supported by real conviction


I bumped recently into T, a former officemate, who by the way, had given me a hard time in one of the previous companies I worked for.


You see, T is the HR Executive in that company. He was actually the first one in the company that I met, having interviewed me when I'm still applying for the position. One look at him, and you can easily tell that he is gay. It's like written all over his face. He need not talk or walk or do anything, just look at him and his genes will tell what his preference is.


He's very comfortable being gay and has quite an admirable self humour about it. He's quite likeable, amiable and fun to be with. There's never a dull moment whenever T is around. Always cracking jokes and always making sure that nobody will feel out of place or being left behind.


I admire his zest for fun, but I never liked T, he's just too loud for me. I know that there's really nothing wrong him being like that if it's his own person. I honestly admire him for being carefree and oblivious of what other people might say.


But the problem is, he wants me to be like him. The countless times when he told me "Magpakatotoo ka" had only strengthen my resolve not to be anything like him. Those times that I said no to be his cruising companion, rejected his invites for a night at those bars with gyrating, almost naked macho dancers and his other activities that were too vulgar for my taste, well that only that time - had probably made this invisible barrier between us.


I just realized one day that his snide are a little bit off, which doesn't strike me as funny anymore. He would burst in our department and tell stuff about this certain gay that he know who can't accept his real self - quite obviously referring to me. I just shrugged it off.


His worst verbal attack came on that certain day when I went to HR department to inquire about a miscomputation on my payroll. I found him and a whole bunch of cohorts laughing at their heart’s content.


Seems like T is going on with is usual funny antics and newly invented gay jokes and anecdotes. Much as I want to get my queries answered and done asap, I decided to linger for a little while and listen to his narratives. His stories were just plain hilarious, as usual. But his last punchline didn’t made as much impact. He used a certain gay jargon, which his audience can't quite get. When asked about what that word means, he blurted:


"Tanungin ninyo si Marlon, I’m sure alam na alam niya kung ano yun. Di ba, Marlon?"


I really had no idea what he's talking about. I can't even remember what the word is even now, so I said I have no idea what it is. Because of that, he verbally accused me in front of everybody - of being a hypocrite.


to be concluded...