Patience has never been my friend. I always believed that if you really want something, you'll just go for it right there and then. No questions asked, no buts and ifs, no waiting necessary. Until now...


When I met WB, I thought that it will turn up just like the others. I will date my partner for the day; plot my moves until execution, and finally bringing him to bed with me. Sure, WB and I ended up in bed on the first date. But what surprised me in spite of myself is that I can't seem to detach myself after the deed was done, which normally is no Complicated Dude.


Before we parted ways, we agreed to hook up again a week after. But it seems like I was genuinely smitten by WB and can't wait for to have him again. Only a day after that first date, I missed him already.


Of course, WB won't believe that I do miss him. He even said that whatever feelings I have is triggered only by what's between my legs. Although there's some truth to that, I'm beginning to feel much, much deeper feelings towards him. I had to see him again to find out what's really in it for me and at the same time confirm if what I feel is just lust or something other than what my testosterones dictate.


The succeeding times we did it, I knew I was in for something serious. I have said a couple of times here that I am in love. Though most of my friends are skeptical, I really can’t blame them for I myself have denounced this thing called love many times before.


I told WB that I love him. Ever heard that line from a song? “And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like…” I knew that I had spoiled everything but I can’t help myself not to say it. I will burst if I don’t.


But far from getting a favorable response, WB told me he’s not yet ready to commit. That he has to prioritize his review for the board this August. Only then that he can decide. Though he assured me that he also got serious feelings for me, he told me to wait if I really am in love with him. I just had to be contented with this ‘love without commitment’ as what he said.


I know waiting for the time that he will be ready is the right thing to do, under the circumstances. I don’t want to get in the way of him passing the board and achieving his dream of becoming a doctor. I just had to be contented that I am able to talk to him everyday. Much as I want to see him, I can’t because he’s distracted everytime I’m around.


I got to talk to his bestfriend, MK, and he told me to give WB some space first. I just realized that I might be taking much of WB’s time for his review knowing that he's way behind his readings as he told me quite a number of times. I was so absorbed about my own feelings that I did not realize that I am compromising some important stuff at WB’s end. MK said that if I can help it, I should try not to call, text [or bug] WB for at least one week and let WB miss me. I just hope it works.


So here I am, waiting for that time until WB decides that he can finally open up and let me in – in his life and in his heart. I'm giving him that space and waiting. If that's the only thing to prove my intentions, I'm willing to take the risk. I just hope that I am doing the right thing.