...how a simple SMS can either change or dictate your moods for the rest of the day or for the night as with my case yesterday.

I was completely fine and just waiting for elusive sleep to take over me when my cellphone beep with this message from Julius:

"Gud pm. I cant resist 2 say how is my babes?"

It was the start. An exchange of messages [sweet nothings] ensued which culminated to me calling him to say goodnight. I was quite elated by this and emotions inside started to stir a little bit.

All the I love you's and I miss you's left me feeling like fifteen again, a high school teenager going through the ligawan stage. Kinikilig ako! Sobra! How sweet can Julius be?

It would have been an ordinary mobile correspondence had I don't have feelings for this guy. Truth be told, I was kinda expecting him to text me but not really counting on it. I am pretty cautious right now not to let my feelings show too much and lay all my cards down for him.

So far, I had managed to just reply to his messages. The few times I did initiate a text conversation is by sending him saved messages - avoiding not to send "Hi! How r u! Gud morning!" type of messages so as it may not sound as though I'm fishing for a longer conversation.

I am extra, extra careful this time not to let myself too deep for fear that I will regret it [hopefully not] when this relationship doesn't work out. I just hope that my quavering voice doesn't give away too much of my suppressed emotions and how I was a little excited talking to him that he will later realize how much I'm missing him.

I want this relationship to work but something's telling me that it will not. Is it my conscience? My old, bitter, complicated self getting the better of me? Again? Don't wanna think about it just yet.

I was really ecstatic when I read his first message, but why is it that all of a sudden that I felt so vulnerable? Paranoid? And so pessimistic?

It's funny how a simple SMS can change or dictate your moods. And this non - sense post is it's result.