Most of my friends still had that surprised looks everytime I tell them that I am jobless now. I actually had the choice not to be one because I was asked to extend my tenure 'til October 15 by my last employer. Only I declined.


Since I'll be going to the states for the training and will be working on a (perpetual) night shift once I got back, I decided to prepare myself to taking on a new life of a working nocturnal animal. And how can I get myself used to this unusual body clock if I'm still working on a regular shift job?


I also remembered telling (in a joking way) my then officemates and superiors that I'm planning to have as much sex as I can before embarking on the new chapter of my professional life. Which is actually more of an admission than a joke because I had made myself available to a number of guys this October to have some fun - clean or otherwise.


That was the plan, had I not met CX along.


Entering a serious and monogamous relationship never appealed to me that much. I only started giving it some thoughts primarily because I felt that he IS the one and I'm really getting sick and tired of playing games with almost every guy I meet.


And so I started on uncomplicating Complicated Dude. I cancelled most of my October planned hook - ups and declined invites from other guys. I even had to tell some that I'm already taken (though I'm really not) just so that I have a valid reason to breach previous agreements. I felt good. I'm beginning to think that I matured already and can now handle serious responsibilities. For a while there, I was thinking that I'm doing pretty well on handling temptations and because exclusive at least for once.


But changes, I realized, don't just happen overnight.


I once told a friend that there's no such thing as exclusivity in gay relationships. And CX and I were definitely not the exception.


.....


That was one very busy week for both of us. I was processing various travel documents and certifications and him with his final exams that same week. We only get to talk at night and since we had too much to do/study the rest of the day, exhaustion had prevented us to spend longer hours on the phone.


Which only made me miss him more. I missed him so bad that I'm literally aching to spend the weekend with him. Too bad he had other commitments to attend to. Though he promised that he'll spend the rest of the weekend with me after he's done with all his activities, I advised him to just rest instead.


So there I was at home that weekend, boring myself to death and getting a little depressed when I heard my phone's message alert tone. Thinking that it was CX's SMS, I immediately went to see what his message was.


But it's from an unknown number, the sender inviting me to spend the night at his place. I ignored it, more depressed than ever and a little irritated. I was about to turn my mobile off when that same number called.


I'm not sure why but I started flirting with unknown caller. When he gave me his G4M username (Nit), I remembered that he's one of the guys I promised of a hook - up this month. We kinda had a number of naughty exchanges on the net before but nothing came out of it for various reasons. Nit told me that he got the house all to himself and is also bored like me. He also told me that he got some booze ready but there's no one with him to drink them with.


I chose beer over boredom. We agreed that he'll pick me up. While waiting for him, I was having internal battles whether I'll have sex with Nit or not. I'm feeling a little guilty and I also felt that I was cheating on CX bigtime. I resolved to just drink with Nit 'til one of us drops so that nothing will happen.


All that plan for the night's abstinence vanished when I saw him. He reminds me of CX very much, only an older version. I now won't mind if we got to do things other than to drink beer. In fact, it really won't hurt me if we don't drink at all...