I never believed in gay relationships, though CX had somehow managed to bring out the hopeless romantic side of me. But still, I know that no matter how good it was, or it might have been - it won’t last. Too bad reality caught up with me when I’m still living a fairy tale life. After what happened, I am myself once again.

I started going out and hooking up with guys as soon as I my jetlag subsided. Every chance I got; I will surely go for it. Whether be it a movie-then-dinner-then-coffee date or a quick lay or what-have-you, anything that will take my mind off of CX, is always a welcome treat.

One of the guys I hooked up with is RJay.

RJay is also an accountant like me. He’s a little older but he’s far more accomplished than I am. He’s got an MBA and is on his way to getting his PHD, at the age of 27. Maybe because he’s been making love with books all his life that he’s still haven’t done IT at his age. Or the fact that he comes from a family of soldiers with strict military disciplines made him the most discreet, closeted, virgin gay guy I’ve met.

He hesitantly agreed to meet up with me on a supposedly no-strings attached, sex only date one Saturday night. I told him that I rarely hook up with guys if I won’t be getting laid after. He promised that he will at least try and he would have no issues doing it with me if we’re both into each other. He also wasted no time telling me that IF EVER he’ll be doing it, it will be with his boyfriend/lover or with a guy he has serious feelings with.

Without an assurance of a fuck, I went on to see him just the same. Who knows, he might not be my type at all.

He’s not exactly my ideal guy, though he seems likable enough for me. He’s dark, chubby and quite as tall as me. The only thing that did bother me is that he’s so straight-acting I can’t quite know how to act at first. Good thing though, that he LIKED me that much that he doesn’t even mind my sort of effeminate gait. He even joked that he couldn’t care less if I walk more effeminately as long as I wont be walking on stilettos :-p.

Hmmm… How on earth did he know about stilettos? I would have freaked out if he said “Manolo’s”.

Anyways, both being accountants, it wasn’t hard for us to find topics of conversations – favorite and most hated subjects, review professors and the day we took the board. As we get more personal into each other, I mean, as our conversation became more about each other than auditing, taxation and GAAP, I started imagining how things will be if we indeed end up with each other. We had an awful lot in common that I thought it would be really worth it if I give US a try – seriously.

More than a couple of times he mentioned that he really likes me. I was just brushing his comments off thinking that he’s only pulling my legs. But after he said something like how beautifully brown my eyes were, I realized that he’s really into me. Just as when we’re about to finish our frappucinos, I asked what’s his plan for the rest of the night. That time, I knew we had the same (evil) plan in mind.

He agreed to do it with me. Before the night ended, he was technically devirginized.

I would have wanted for us to go home after doing it, but I don’t wanna make it seem like I’m only after it. Upon his request, I agreed to spend the rest of the night with him.

Morning after - the reason why I wanted the night to end soon and one of the things I’m trying to avoid.

Ever have that feeling of waking up in bed with almost a complete stranger? I really can’t explain it but it’s that uncomfortable feeling thinking what your partner is thinking while you were sleeping and he woke up first before you. And he did. He was staring at me when I woke up it almost startled me. Not that I don’t like what I’m seeing with the daylights on but its not good waking up with someone staring at you.

I don’t know.

If we hadn’t spent the night together, I would have loved to do it with him again. Now, I might but not after a while.

I didn’t plan it, but I just lost interest...