yup, i will be blogging again.

i realized that there are far more complicated things than myself in this world. but i'm not gonna hate the world for that. i could whine, though. and i see this site as my best channel to do just that. the same reason why i changed my blog address. my posts starting this one will be NSFW.

well, it's been more than a year since my last post. what made me stop?

i fell in love, committed myself to commitment and decided to give real relationship a chance. and i'm thankful that i took the plunge. honey and i are going on our 2nd year now and i can see us reaching far beyond that.

but why am i back to blogging now? to take myself away from it all and like what i have said above - to whine.

i can't ask for more with regard to my personal life. can't say the same for work and career, though.

i love my job. have nothing to complain with my company, either. truth be told, i just got promoted last october. but why?

i just can't imagine that i am doing the things that i promised not to do when i was still starting this career. i vowed to climb the corporate ladder thru hard work, perserverance, skills and competencies. no scheming. no backstabbing. no sucking up my boss' ass.

i was giving a clean fight for almost five years and six companies that i've work with. nothing came out of it.

now, i can see that i am at the peak of my career, things are going rather well. who am i to complain, right? but why is it that i'm slowly seeing myself as the asshole like some of my former superiors that i so detest?

am i turning into one of them?

i am finally IN, in that proverbial corporate jungle.

He opened his eyes only to see a blank ceiling staring at him. In his desolate state, the quietness of the world outside in those early hours past midnight was the most inviting thing he could've hoped for. Just what he needed, badly.

For what seemed like forever, he remained in that motionless and still predicament. He had somehow found comfort in the beauty of it - solitude and oblivion. Only him and his confined world. Even thoughts are not welcome, or at least he's trying his best not to think about those that had bothered his once complicated world.

Sluggishness crept in sooner like what he had predicted. In his last attempt to free his soul to sleep, he savored the coming yawn building up in his throat. Finally, it came.

But his mouth tasted a little bitter that he began to wonder. He resolved to cool down his face and brush his teeth - his pre-bedtime rituals.

He raised himself up but suddenly the all too familiar pain in his head had again visited his universe. His head is throbbing like crazy, he thought he's gonna pass out. He closed his eyes and summoned the last strained energies left in his body.

He won the battle again this time. When he opened his eyes for the second time that night, the scene that greeted him made him lonelier than ever.

Cigarette butts and ashes, empty bottles of Jose Cuérvo and cans of Budweiser had littered the floor and his bedside table. Plastics of potato chips and nachos and other junks were scattered everywhere.

He had been drinking, he thought. Now he realized why his saliva tasted odd and the hangover. Looking at the scene in front of him, it strucked him that now, his life, like his room, is a total mess.

It's not like this when you're still here, he said as if talking to someone. In the darkness of his room, he reached for the picture frame underneath the lampshade. The only thing that looked properly kempt and decent in the total disarray.

He took a closer look at the photograph. Two guys are smiling at him, with arms around each other. He recognized that one of them is his own.

"I miss you, Hon..."

He was almost surprised that a tear had fallen from his eyes. He reminded himself that he won't cry anymore. With one deep breath and sigh, he wiped his already blurred vision and headed for the shower...