Complicated Dude started his plea with this quote:

"Friends are the family you choose."

"It is to my greatest regret that the so-called snobbing incident had to happen. I never intended to snob Lunatic Beauty. If failing to recognize your friend's profile in a mall is a crime, then I'm willing to be condemned.

We've gone through a lot, Beauty and I. We're friends way before I am Complicated Dude. In short, a nobody.

He was there when I was jobless and without a single cent to my name. Chaperoning me to those interviews, waiting for forever outside the lobby while I bargain for the best salary. He was the one who walked all the way from Buendia to Makati Central PO just to buy the stamp required by one of the company I applied to. He was the one who had to wake up at five in the morning just so we could arrive on time to the Commission on Audit in Fairview - only for us to literally walk pass COA premises because I suddenly got cold feet. He was the one who would walk with me from buildings to buildings, sacrificing his classes just so that I can come to my interviews with an aid.

We had shared countless laughs during my job-hunting days. We would make fun of those 'corporate' people at Ayala - branding them and giving them pathetic names (of course, without them knowing) as 'great pretenders', 'filthy crawling urbanized earthlings', 'stage actors in the worst play ever which is the corporate jungle', etc.

News flash, Beauty! You're bestfriend is now one of them. And to some extent, worse than most of them. The corporate world had corrupted your bestfriend's once innocent, carefree and childlike self and turned him into a monster.

I can't blame you if you say I had changed. Maybe I really had.

I changed the way I look. I changed to way I speak. I even changed the way I rationalize things. Applying my now jaded perception of things to life, dealing with relationship, and friendship.

I really hope I can be the same Complicated Dude who would laugh his heart out at your corniest joke, who would talk to you about life, love and everything in between till the wee hours of the morning and who would always be there for you on short short notice.

I never ever will ignore you. I am your bestfriend and I am here to stay. Even if you push me away.

I rest my case. "


It was established that:

1. Complicated Dude pleaded not guilty of the crime;

I really presumed the last time to be the last...

For two months, not a word from you was heard. It suits us just fine. Suits me even better, I guess. I can fly around like a butterfly, from flower to flower, finding the best but almost every time I end up alone. Endlessly drifting to places unknown looking for 'the one'.

At the back of my mind, I know (or anticipating) it was you. But I can't bring myself to admit that at last, I am hooked!

I don't wanna get tied up with someone. Not yet. I don't wanna fall in love. It's too complicated, even for complicated dude! Everytime I let my guards down, I fall apart. I am not good enough for you, not even worth considering. I know you won't ask for it but COMMITMENT is just the most pathetic word ever invented!

Out of nowhere, here you are again. Or here I am, again. You disturbed the pseudo-peaceful existence I worked very hard to build. I was too comfy with this current mindset that I almost felt like it's the real thing.

Far from avoiding the the arrows you're aiming at my heart, I let you be. Who I am to prevent even myself from this (momentary) bliss? I am only human, or I am once again, human.

I can't tell you to be with me forever, it will only drive you away.

I can't tell you to go, I might just get it.

But eventually I will have to let you go.

And you know it.

As much as I do.

It's mom's big day today. For the one and only mother (ala Melanie Marquez, hehehe) I have, Happy birthday, Mom!

What will be a great birthday present I can give? Hmmm...

Flowers? (parang sa girlfriend...)
Cake? (parang sa bata...)
Chocolates? (she's on a diet...)
My salary? (ekis)

But I am required to render extended time today. I have yet to render OT this week coz:

February 14 - Monday OTs are a definite no-no. I specifically requested my boss to spare this day for overtimes. I bargained Saturdays and even Sundays for this. I planned to render OT that day but I don't wanna look pathetic so I only stayed for 30 minutes;
February 15 - post - Valentine's dinner date with friends;
February 16 - had my 2nd facial session; and
February 17 - Mom's day.
February 18 - TGIF! (Do you know anyone who extends office hours during Fridays?)

You might say that rendering OTs is not such a big deal if you're getting paid for it, but let me show you my workstation first:

I was a litttle surprised last night when my mother had a quite different greeting when I arrived.

The usual "Bakit gabi ka na?" or "Maaga ka yata." was gone, instead the question that greeted me was:

"Nabalitaan mo na ba?"

Upon learning of the incident at Edsa corner Ayala, I instinctively called up my sister who's working around the area to check on her whereabouts. My mother is worried sick eventhough she's quite used to us coming home really late.

I know for a fact that my sister seldom takes the Ayala-Edsa-Guadalupe route going home but it wouldn't hurt to double check - we can never tell. Few minutes later, she did arrive and became the next recipient of mom's peculiar greeting.

Newsbreaks and flash reports on tube were as shocking and disturbing as those scenes we usually see in Israel - Palestine conflict over the Gaza strip. The bombing also reminded me of the December 30 bombing of LRT. For the first time this year, I stayed up really late for the evening news, (the last time I did this was when FPJ passed away) and to have a more detailed and comprehensive view of the events that day.

Apparently, a series of bombings occured almost simultaneously in Davao and General Santos City. At least three were confirmed dead on the spot and at least twenty were injured when a bomb blasted through a passenger bus going to Alabang from Ayala Makati - blazing two nearby buses on its wake. In General Santos City, a bomb exploded outside Gaisana mall, which was planted on a tricycle killing five. A bus terminal was bombed likewise in Davao city. Another planted bomb was (thankfully) detonated in Paranaque City, said to be powerful enough to blast a whole building.

The alert level was raised to full security. PNP Chief on his statement had urged the public to remain calm and do their usual everyday activities while remaining vigilant and report any signs and whereabouts of suspicious - looking characters.Meanwhile, a group of bandits, had claimed responsibility over the bombings across the country - a Valentine's Day gift for the president, they said.

An officer of Makati Business Club said that recent events will have a huge impact in our economy. Stock exchange prices are expected to drop days following the bombing. Thanks to these militants, the peso will be dropping down again just when it's giving a good fight against the dollar. The security situation will certainly drive the investors away and the aftermath of all these - is too scary to even think about.

When bidding goodbye to your friends, we'll sometime jokingly say:

"Ingat. Ingat sila sa iyo!"

Now, everytime I will say "Ingat kayo.", I mean every word.

Catchy title, huh?

Guys, well most of you might think that the title above refers to men's member - you're probably right!

Of course I'm not gonna talk entirely about that - you might think that I am this biatch who thinks nothing but dicks. Although there's some truth to that, it's just that I did a little probe on why the term 'dick' is now associated with male genitalia. Below were some of the things I gathered.

Dick is actually a nickname for Richard, like Bill for William and Bob for Robert. Did you ever wonder why our tourism secretary is sometimes referred to as Dick Gordon?

Richard is a very old name, but its origin is not thoroughly established. Old English name had 'Richeard', from Ric (ruler) and Heard (hard) - hard ruler! Old French had 'Richart' and Old German had 'Ricohart'.

In early days, since most documents were hand - written - it is quite agreeable to use more common and shorter words for easier comprehension. Names were not exempted in the use of abbreviations and Richard, being one of the most popular names in those days - had quite a lot. Rick, Hick, Rich, Richy, Ricky, Ricket were among the few. Spin - offs from these nicknames also evolved, all of which can be traced to the name - Hich, Hicket and Dicket to name a few.

Being popular as it is, the name Dick (like Jack) was used colloquially to the average man, thus the phrase "Every Tom, Dick and Harry". From the use of 'dick' for an average person, other usages also appeared.

Oxford English Dictionary cited the word 'dick' meaning 'a type of hard cheese'. When treacle is added, it became 'treacle dick' and later on when raisins or currants were added to the cheese, 'spotted dick' was born referring to the dotted appearance of the pudding because of these additions. The term 'dick' was also used to refer an apron, a riding whip, the mound around a ditch, and an abbreviation for 'dictionary' around 1860s.

Later on, the word was used to refer to a policeman which later evolved to mean detective as in 'Dick Tracy'.

And now where back to where we started. Why 'dick'?

The word's association with penis is really unknown, though some argued that the riding whip had pointed the way. Others had this theory that the term usage evolved from the word 'dork' that has 'dirk' and 'dick' as some of its variations - had something to do with this. The word 'dork' is a slang for a whale's penis, though it's orinally meaning is really penis; it refers to humans and not cetaceans. 'Dork' now popularly refers to a stupid or obnoxious person.

I surmised that the evolution of the word, which usually refers to a masculine adjective and reference i.e. 'hard', 'average man' and 'policeman/detective', except probably for cheese - had made the slang as popular as ever . There were also some prominent men who figured in history named Richard - all 'dick personified'.

Richard the Lionheart
Richard Burton
Richard Gere
Richard Harris
Richard Dreyfuss
Richard Nixon
Richard Attenborough
Richard Gomez
Richard Guttierez
Richard Pinlac (?)

Any other famous dicks, I mean Richards, you know?

What a shame!

And we're not even half through with the play. Anyway, we had to continue or else we're dead meat. We already consumed a good five minutes at the backstage laughing our heads off. We simply can't get our acts together.

We're still smarting from the Angustias brouhaha when Bernarda, the governess Concha and the servant walked into the stage for Scene 2.

SCENE 2

Bernarda: Concha, do you mind looking after the girls while I sort out some things first? Since my husband passed away, I think I should assume the position of 'man of the house', don't you think?
Concha: Certainly, Bernarda. No one can decide here but you. (whispering) It's always been you, even if you're husband is around...
Bernarda: What's that? Are you saying something?
Concha: None of course! I was just saying that it would be a big help if you talk to your daughters first. The servant thinks so, too. Right? (asking the servant)
Servant: Certainly... I... ah.... I....

I, as the Servant, had a long line after 'Certainly...', which, again, I forgot. My mind was still pre -occupied with what happened earlier. One more second, and I will definitely crack. A smile is already twitching on my lips and looking at Concha with the same expression did not help me in my predicament. Before I made a mess of myself in front of the audience, I managed to say:

Servant: Excuse me, Señora Bernarda and Concha. I think I better attend to the dishes left in the kitchen. Good night!

And I left the stage without uttering another word. I joined the other members hiding at the side of the stage and watching.

Bernarda and Concha had a good rallye of right dialogues after my abandonment.This can't be that bad, at least we managed to present a decent performance, if not a very good one. But I know they're having a hard time the minute we heard Concha starting her dialogues with 'I thought we're talking about the..., Bernarda?' to which Bernarda would reply with 'Ah yes Concha. I almost forgot'.

Bernarda is definitely talking about 'forgetting her lines' (again) because there's no line like that in our script. We thought that the two can pull this through - but listening to them throwing adlibs and repeated lines at one another, is a definite torture. They might as well talk about their boyfriends on stage and it won't make any difference to the audience. The dialogues were not making any sense at all. They had the dialogues from Scenes 2, 3 and 4 all jambled up. They are just saying the lines that they could remember, even if it's like giving an 'I'm fine, thanks!' answer to a 'How old are you?' question.

Concha had enough. Or rather given up with the effort of delivering the appropriate lines. She muttered out of the blue:

Concha: Maybe I should get something in the kitchen.

And she left Bernarda alone on stage.

All Bernarda could do is walk back and forth, left to right while fanning herself as if lost in the middle of nowhere. After at least two agonizing minutes of being alone on stage saying nothing, with no convincing lines to throw, she said:

Bernarda: Maybe I should go in the kitchen, too!

Curtains closed...

By this time, our professor had fallen asleep. Thankfully, our classmates did not wake her up.They even had encouraging smiles for us. One of them even volunteered to read the dialogues behind the curtain.

But even if there's someone's coaching you, it's hard to pretend that you really know the lines that you are saying, when in fact you didn't have a clue to anything. She would read the lines but we kept on saying the wrong things. Aside from the fact that her murmurs were simply inaudible, the lines were really long, not the witty and funny one-liners like 'Get out!', hehehe.

And so Scenes 2 and 3 had passed unimportantly and uneventfully. The adlibs we're not working, either making the story more coherent or giving the audience some comic relief. It's not funny anymore. In an anything-goes tempo of our play, it really had gotten us nowhere.

I thought we're through with our killer adlibs, but we thought wrong.

SCENE 4

This is the part where one of Bernarda's daughters tried to elope but is being prevented doing so by her sisters. It goes like this:

Magdalena: Adela! What are you doing here?
Adela: Ahh... Nothing, Magdalena. I was just... I... I just can't sleep. That's all.
Magdalena: Alright.... Ahmmm, what's you got there behind you... It's your belongings... you're gonna run away with that guy...

From behind, another one of Bernarda's daughters appeared.

Martirio: Aha! Adela! You're running away. Don't do this, Adela. Mama will kill you if she finds out.
Adela: She won't if you don't tell her.
Magdalena: Martirio, will you please calm down. And Adela, maybe we should talk about this first before you do something rash.
Adela: My mind's already made up. No one can stop me, even you both. Adela please let me go... Please?
Martirio: No. I'm gonna tell Mama if it's the last thing I do. What will happen to you if you marry that peasant, huh? You're gonna beg on the streets? Tell me, will you? Will you? WHAT ADELA?

I had to give it to Martirio, at the last minute she was able to deliver. Our saving grace!

Adela: Let's go to sleep.

What's that again? Where did that line come from? Adela had also forgotten her crucial line.But Martirio seems to be unaware of Adela's missed lines. She probably thought that Adela had the right cue. She continued with her dialogue.

Martirio: That will never happen!

And Adela and Martirio never slept after that.

Kidding! That was the last scene.

One of our classmates disturbed Madame Professor in her blissful slumber. When she realized that she had dozed off during our presentation, guess what? She only asked Bernarda what's the story's about and had given us a grade of 82! Our group had the lowest grade in that exercise. But who are we to complain, eh? We did not even deserve a 75.

Post-Bernarda Alba:

Most of us remained classmates until our fourth year. Bernarda Alba's remnants formed the core group of our college barkada. Martirio shifted to Banking and Finance in our third year, Adela enrolled in a different section and what about Angustias? Well, she had a new set of friends and never talked about Bernarda Alba to any of us since. I wonder why?

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

A loud, petrified, hair-raising shriek disturbed our huddle.

'Something happened to someone' said one of my co-members. The scream was followed by some sort of voodoo chanting that we only realized that the first group is already doing their piece.

Instead of giving last minute instructions and doing a final rehearsal, we decided to watch the first group and measure their performance.

Their's was a speech choral rendition of 'Congo' - and a very good one at that. Their twilight zone-y voices and well-choreographed movements will leave an audience transfixed to the spot. We're still having goosebumps when before we know it, they're done. They surely set the tone for the other groups. As the team to beat, they set a fairly high standard - that a performance of a lesser caliber definitely sucks and a better one than their's must be really really good. (Hey, Aikat!You're a part of this group so won't you mind telling us more about it? Hehehe!)

Their awesome performance only added to our dillema. How are we supposed to beat that? But we had to do it, and there's no backing out now.

"Welcome... to the house... of... Bernarda Alba!" chorused Bernarda, Concha and Angustias. (I won't be telling who played what character for no further humiliation of the other who obviously can't defend themselves here, hehehe!)

First five minutes of our play is definitely, utterly, expectedly and categorically BORING! Those in the audience all have this blank, vacant expression while watching us. Thankfully, it's only our classmates and professor who are there to witness us suck on stage. I swear some of my classmates even left that make-shift auditorium. But had they stayed a little longer, they'll be witnesses to our winning moments.

SCENE 1

In an anticipated confrontation scene between characters Bernarda and Angustias - where most of us members were on stage - the first of our many booboos happened:

Bernarda: Angustias! Where is Angustias?
Servant: Call Angustias. (This is the servant ordering his master to call his daughter.)

I, as the one playing the servant, had pretty well forgotten my lines here and that's the first thing I can come up with. Good thing the one playing Bernarda is rather quick on the uptake.

Bernarda: (angrily) Angustias, Angustias! Come here Angustias!

Here comes Angustias.

Among us, only Angustias managed to do a pretty good delivery of lines during practice as compared to the rest. She had rigorously and religiously memorized her lines and is now on stage waiting for her cue.

Angustias: Mother? What's that?

In a few seconds, Angustias' Oscar - winning monologue is about to unfold. One line from Bernarda is all she's waiting.

But trust Bernarda (who had forgotten her lines, too) to spoil everything for her - and for us.

Bernarda: What are you doing here?(all surprised as if she's not calling Angustias seconds before), Get out! OUT!

Angustias was dumb-strucked. I can see in her face the questions 'What's with Bernarda?' and 'What's going on here?'. She was about to say something but Bernarda obviously is too quick for her.

Bernarda started slapping her handkerchief in Angustias' face, shooing her away - still screaming 'Get out! Get out!'. Angustias can only say nothing and left the stage. Angustias had long monologues in that scene alone, but all throughout the play, all she said was 'Mother? What's that?'

Bernarda probably realized what a fiasco she'd just made and before anyone of us can react to the situation, she's at it again.

Bernarda: All of you! (Pointing to us left on stage) GET OUT!

And we did. Good thing coz most of us were already sweating, with our shoulders trembling from trying to keep ourselves from laughing. How we managed to keep straight faces on stage, until now I don't know. As we were all at the safety of the backstage - we burst into the loudest, almost on cue hysterics. A minute later, Bernarda joined in for a louder commotion.

If only Ana, Joanne, Cathy, Midore, Cecille, Lalaine, Mariel, Oyeth and Abby will chance upon my blog and read the title of this post - all of them will be hunting down my neck now.

This masterpiece by Federico Garcia Lorca was the piece we presented for our English Literature class in our college freshman year. The class was divided into four groups and each is to present a stage presentation - drama, speech choral, musical etc. - that will be the basis of our grade for the final half of that semester.

We initially wanted to do "New Yorker in Tondo" by Marcelino Agana but since nobody among the girls are eager to play a male role; this literary piece suited us just fine. And in order for me to fit into an all-female character story, the character of maid was replaced by the servant - the role I did.

But finding Bernarda isn't that easy. We had to scavenge every literature book in PUP library just to find the right one. Some of us even had to visit the National Library in case the one we've been looking for is situated in that portion of UN Avenue. We finally decided on Bernarda two weeks before the stated presentation date.

With two weeks left, we practiced like there's no tomorrow. We had to hurry, time is to our disadvantage. Our sessions were like two hours reading, practical demo for thirty minutes to be followed by breakfast, lunch, dinner or merienda. Of course, with our tummies full, we'll be feeling all sluggish and drowsy. After at least two hours of sleep and siesta, we will resume our practice - this time doing the dialogues.

With so much quotables and misses during the dialogue rehearsals - we would always end up laughing at how we stutter with the dialogues, how we kept on saying the script from Scene 2 instead that from Scene 1 or how we would laugh our hearts out by just looking at each other doing their monologues. We just can't keep a straight face. Ang bababaw kasi!

Of course, we're not professional stage actors to fully memorize our lines come judgement day. We had barely memorized half of it when we were all at the backstage holding hands in circle praying that all the saints and our guardian angels guide us through the ordeal.

We also agreed that in case any of us had forgotten their lines (which is really a given, at the circumstances) - he/she is to just say anything. ANYTHING. So that there will be no unnecessary lull in the flow of the story. We had to use adlibs, even if that's the last thing we do.

And the hilarity that ensued will haunt us for the rest of our college years.