It was my youngest sister, Kassandra's, graduation yesterday. Straight from work, I headed towards the same familiar institution, where I, myself, had spent the first seven years of preparatory and primary studies. Seeing our bunso accepting her diploma on stage is one moment I felt I should bear witness to. But there's another reason why I was so intent to see my sister's commencement exercise.

I first heard of Kenzo on our third year highschool Filipino class, as taught by his mother, also our section's adviser. She would time and again tell us how her son, Kenzo, had learnt his ABCs and 123s at age two. How she wished that us, her class, would have the same interest and perseverance to study like her son. But since her subject is one of the most boring subjects in high school, her plea fell on practically deaf ears.

Our adviser live four streets away from us, and one time she requested me to carry some things for her, I finally met her darling son, Kenzo. And there he was, quite absorbed in his basic ABCs, math and coloring books. He even enthusiastically showed me some of his finished coloring books and sportingly answered my 1+1 questions. He may not be a genius but what I witnessed is definitely exceptional for a two-year old.

Kassandra and Kenzo belong to the same batch. I found out the first time I read their school's organ.

Kenzo was always on the front page, winning contests and quiz bees left and right. So it was kinda a surprise when Mom told me that my ex-adviser's son only finished as the salutatorian.

Mom further narrated that during the last PTA meeting, where the officers announced the names of students graduating with honors, my former adviser, learning of his son's feat, stormed out of the room, and made quite a scene.

She scolded her son just outside the meeting room, to the dismay of the parents and teachers present. She can't quite accept that her son finished only second and not the valedictorian. Mom, also told me, that my former adviser grabbed her son by the collar and shouted so that everybody could hear:

"Kung hindi ka magiging valedictorian, hindi ka na mag-aaral!"

She went as far as filing a formal complaint at DepEd office and forbade her son to attend the graduation ceremonies rehearsal and even the formal commencement exercise.

My ex-adviser was a no-show yesterday. But her son did attend - alone. I was observing Kenzo the whole time. He would engage in some conversations with his classmates but just the same, not as animatedly as most of the twelve year olds around him. In the middle of a festive and joyous atmosphere, there he was, quiet and staring blankly at the stage most of the time.

He received his diploma alone, the part where the graduates will walk up the stage with either their mother or father to hand them the certificates. But it was when the honor students were to receive their medals that Kenzo's predicament touched everyone's hearts.

All the top graduates had their parents with them on stage, except Kenzo. When it was time for him to receive his', emotions got the better of him, the boy began to cry. The guest of honor who is giving the medals wanted someone to give the medal to Kenzo, unaware of the stunt that Kenzo's mother just pulled the recent week. One of Kenzo's teachers volunteered to be the surrogate guardian, but was too overwhelmed by her own emotions, began to cry as well.

The bond between the two is quite noticeable. It's a testimony a that adage "Teachers are your second parents." As the two hugged on stage, everyone stood up and gave an appreciative applause. Some were even teary-eyed. My visions were starting to get blurred that time but I certainly won't forget that gradution.

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Education, they say is the most valuable gift our parents can give us. All the material things can be taken away but the knowledge we gained and nurtured by our teachers, will always be there with us. Education makes a man a right thinker and tells him how to make a decision. Because of our country's current socio-economic situation, not everybody is given the chance to proper education. It saddened me to learn that some are just wasting their opportunities, which view the four corners of their classrooms a torturing prison cell.

If you happen to be a student reading this:

Pursue the knowledge and maximize your potentials. Study. Be educated.

My salute to the graduates of year 2005.

A day spent at sunny Lemery, Batangas with friends, gays and straights, last Maundy Thursday.

Me and my gay friends thought that it is a free and sponsored trip. It is only when we arrived at Batangas when we found out that it's only the transpo and cottage charge that will be shouldered by Leng, the organizer.

With barely 200 bucks to our pockets, we managed to survived the day using talent and GL (ganda lang, hehehe). Stingy as we are, we had a lot of fun without spending much...

Following were the day's highlights:

1. We can't help but to ogle at this particular guy, who is wearing only boxers, and his thingy.... Felix Bakat!;
2. Two heavily contested volleyball games at the beach. Our team won the first game in the morning, we nearly won the afternoon game had not we're too exhausted jumping, running, literally rolling on the sand, spiking, and tossing the volleyball;
3. Rayster and me haggling at the wet market by the beach. With the minimal money we had, a measly 270 pesos, we managed to produced a decent lunch. Two kilos of tilapia from two hundred down to one eighty and two and a half cans of tahong from worth seventy five we managed to haggle at only fifty bucks. Ganda lang talaga!;
4. Singing STOP by Spice Girls, complete with choreography, to our neighbors' delight; and
5. Island hopping wherein Rayster had an instant fan club composed of local guys, they just can't resist that biatch;

And that guy in boxer shorts, well we're debating whether he's queer or not because he's just too good-looking for a straight guy, sang that cheesy Ogie Alcasid OPM song, I am not sure of the title but I mean I haven't heard a guy sing that particular song. I don't know but I think he's queer.

It's been quite a while since I last posted an entry here. It's not that I have nothing to write coz actually a lot happened the previous weeks...


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JUST GOT MARRIED
My best friend, Cecille, just got hitched. Last March 20, she officially became Mrs. Carreon. She's quite elated to see almost all of us in the barkada from college were present. From reception, we went straight to their residence and get drunk till three in the morning.

I can't help but think fast time flies! We were just a bunch of losers then, cutting almost every class, barely scraping off a passing grade. We managed to finish the four - year course, some of us got jobs the summer after graduation, and some took the CPA review. And now they have husbands and kids. And I'm still single!=(

Though I am genuinely pleased that most of my friends are already starting their own families (getting married and having children), I can't help but to ask myself when will I join the club. Getting married definitely is not gonna happen for me unless gay marriage be legalized here. Having kids is not that impossible but who will be (in) sane enough to be the volunteer and get impregnated? I mean no decent, neurosis - free woman will agree to such set up. Fag-hagism, anyone?


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HAIRY POTTER
The previous month, I was asked quite a few number of times if I'm having a change of heart and if I had decided to live a straight life. Straight as in hetero - life. Why? It's that particular day when I woke up and I said to myself "Why not?” Yeah, why not grow facial hairs. Since then, I stopped shaving and bid adios to my gilletes and shaving creams. Some liked it, but most were not just used to seeing me with these little hairy accents.

But I liked having moustache and beard. I even came to a point that I wanna shape my beard into a goatee or the 'balbas-sarado' look. I tried myself but I can't quite achieve the look I had in mind that I had to shave it all. I'm back to my facial hairs-free self. I will try again after Lent.


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NUMBER GAMES
Paulo, Rayster and me were arguing how many churches you have to visit to pull off that tradition called Visita Iglesia. Paulo says 7 Ray says 12. I think it's 7 but I heard somewhere it's 9. And on what day is the Visita? Maundy Thursday or Good Friday? I'm too bored to even try searching google.


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JUST ANOTHER PRETTY FACE
I was quite disappointed to see the contestants in the recently concluded Binibining Pilipinas 2005. It's not that they're not beautiful enough to join this prestigious (?) contest but I'm getting tired of seeing veterans. I mean, we need new and fresh faces with matching brains that should go with their physical beauty. Not recycled/rehashed/repackaged losers of previous years.


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PACMAN'S DOWNFALL... I DON'T THINK SO
Kudos to Manny Pacquiao for surviving the 12-round fight with what's-his-name-again Morales, last Sunday. Win or lose, he's already a boxer of international caliber.


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TORTURE!
This week must have been the shortest but most boring and nakakatamad week I ever had. It might be the anticipation of the long holiday ahead or my work is really that boring. Anyways, it's barely an hour left before all will be over. Patience is a virtue, they say. I just wish I had as much.

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Have a blessed Holy Week everyone.

Last Wednesday was one of my dear friend's birthday - Che. And she obligingly treated us to a sumptuous dinner at one of those posh resto at Metrowalk.

Che is actually my bestfriend's officemate but I am often dragged by Cecille to join their gimmicks, dinners, parties, and facial sessions that they're practically my officemates as well. Come to think of it, I had spent more occasions with these girls than my own officemates.

Some of that day's pictures with biatches Cecille, Che, Ria, Riza and Claire:





Happy Birthday, Cherryl!

Don't worry, your prince charming is just around the corner. If he's still not your boyfriend on your next birthday, chances are... he's gay!

Good for me, and bad for you!

I did not accept the offer.

Yes, you read it right. After all the words of encouragement and votes of confidence from you guys, I decided to stay at my current job – at least for now.

Friday, I was like 85% certain that what I have is an offer of a lifetime. When I did not receive the call from them at the time I expected, doubts about the company’s sincerity to hire me began to manifest, with my conviction to accept it wavering. I called them and learned that the issue regarding my asking price will be resolved come Monday.

Monday late afternoon, I received an SMS from the Division Head (who is one of the panel interviewers) stating that we discuss the matter over the phone.

They are willing to give my asking salary but on the condition that I won’t be getting an increment upon regularization.

I knew right there and then that I will have to say NO. I would have told her outright but out of courtesy I asked for a day to decide. The head practically had to beg me to say YES, I never heard so much please in my entire life that she sounded almost pathetic and desperate to hire me.

But I won’t allow them to haggle with my salary just like that. I can settle with their sub-standard package but no increase after probationary period? No way.

I realized that some companies no matter how effective, efficient and qualified their employees or would-be employees are – they just won’t give them what they’re worth. They want the best but at the most cost – effective price.

Looking on the brighter side…

1. I resolved to have a more mature and objective perspective of my current job and to deal with pressure, stress and boredom as professionally as I could before I resign later on. Much as I want to get away from all these, I also want a graceful exit;
2. I need not adjust to a new company, new officemates etc;
3. I still get to regularly see my friends here in Ortigas; and
4. I just had a new computer (though still with double – monitors) but it has speakers with it! My previous one doesn’t event have a sound card. Work will definitely be less boring now.

I know some of you feel that I am letting this opportunity pass me by. I am saddened that things don’t turned out the way I expected them to be but I really have no regrets about my final decision. The biggest thing I actually learned from all these is that:

“Opportunities are earned, not given.”

Today would be the day… or so I thought.

Referring to my post prior to this, I was all set to receiving that call today at around 1400 hours, which is time the recruitment staff from that company usually calls.

But office hours are nearly over but I still haven’t got a single damn ring from them. I am beginning to feel restless and pre-occupied waiting for their call, leaving me quite disconcerted.

As advised by Carrie, it wouldn’t hurt to be pro-active and to take matters in one’s hands so I immediately called the company to follow up my status. For all I know, my papers would have ended in their inactive files for not arriving at a decision whether to take it or not on the interview date.

It turned out that the AVP Finance is scheduled to deliberate with the Recruitment Head regarding my compensation package today. By the way, I forgot to mention the last time that the rate we (the AVP and me) both agreed is higher than their standard offer price for incoming supervisors.

But for days of all days, the Recruitment head was on (emergency) leave today so I was advised to expect the call by Monday afternoon or Tuesday, by which time the two had already arrived at a compromise.

Is it a sign or what?

I am faced with yet to be the hardest and toughest decision I have to make with regards to my professional life. A decision that could alter the course of my career, either positively or adversely, depending on what decision I will go for - Yes or No.

I am bored, exhausted, burnt out, unmotivated and unsatisfied with my present job. It's no secret to my colleagues that I am applying and submitting resumes left and right. It's no big deal really coz most of them are doing the same. At least one of us in the department is on sick (?) leave every week and it's not surprising for us to find out days later that they were actually on job interviews. Some already left the company and had their despedidas.

Last Monday, however, I was on vacation leave not that I had consumed all my SLs but I told my superior the previous week that I will be having a job interview on that day. I had used almost all sickness availabe there is for SL - LBM, colds, cough, nausea, fever, headache, back ache, body aches, toothache, stomach ache. Too bod I can't use PMS as an excuse.

The first panel interview went rather well. I was able to answer quite tactfully and professionally their questions regarding my present and previous job; my strengths and weaknesses, softwares and applications I am proficient with; my career plans for the next five years; and so on and so forth. I was so comfortable in that interview that I managed to throw in some jokes and one-liners in between. It ended with me and one of the panel basically chatting about our terror professors in college - as we were both alumni from the same university.

The final interview is supposed to be on that same day had the AVP Finance is not cornered in an ambush meeting. They asked me to return the following day but I declined so as not to give them the impression that I am an employee of attendance notoriety. I asked for an after office hours final interview with the AVP. My request was granted.

If the first interview was great, the final one couldn't be any better. I was with my elements. I am confident without being too arrogant or too desperate. I felt like a real professional exchanging ideas and throwing answers and questions with an AVP. The minute he asked me when will be the soonest possible time I can start (the requirement is quite urgent) - I knew I nailed it!

But...

They are not to give in and agree on my asking price. They're offering a package which is fairly higher than what I'm currently receiving but it's really below - standard for a supervisory position.

I know I should take this one but -

What if after I accepted their offer, juicier and better opportunities started coming in from more prestigious and respected companies?

What if I rejected this, opportunity won't knock on me again? Or will only ressurect when I'm already thirty?

The final decision rests solely on me, I know. But your insights will really really help me.

I forgot to say that they're giving me until Friday afternoon to decide, and that's tomorrow.

Due to my bestfriend, Cecille's, insistent demand... I am posting this non-sense pictures here:Ü



I was supposed to post this after Valentines but tons of work started coming in I forgot that I promised Cecille, Ria, Che, Rose, Riza, Andrew and Jay R (my surrogate date for the night, hehehe) that I'll be posting these pictures.

Well... hope Cecille and company like the shots...

"Guess who?"

"Of course, it's me! Who else could it be, huh?"

This was taken on his 6th birthday. Though he can barely remember the events that transpired on his sixth birthday, he certainly won't forget a fight he had with his bitch of a sister over who would be the first one to get a slice of his birthday cake.

"Oh well, we're always been fighting ever since I can remember. It's probably one of the earliest (cat) fights we had."

He doesn't look six, alright?

"I guess it's that too much baby powder and (over) pampering from Lola that made me look younger than I really am. I was never allowed then to go out and play, Lola's too afraid I might get hurt from playing and die. No. Just kidding! She's just overprotective of me and my sister then. "

Having raised by his grandmother almost all his childhood years had probably molded his sexual preference now. Aside from that, he was almost constantly surrounded by girls all his life - his mother, Lola and cousins that were all girls. His father then was working in Iraq and only came back when he was already eight.

This boy, though belonging to a pre-dominantly female clan, had an awful lot of boy playmates and friends. He is soon to know that he's quite special and different from most of them. Being gay is as alien to him as ET that time.

Twenty years after, the boy now looks like this:

"I can't quite fathom that I am looking at my own picture. Twenty years after, I don't look 26, I look older. Life really has a funny joke on everyone. "

"My grandmother is not as overprotective of me as before. She's now got my three younger sisters to 'harrass', hehehe! Lucky for her, these three turned out to be as bitch as their older sister. Of couse, they won't become bitches if they don't have a model to look after to. And who could that be, hmmn?"

Now, this boy is playing quite a different game with guys. He discovered that he really is special and different. But he also knows that there's a huge price to pay for being different.

Early on, he had tried to suppress it but it almost always gets the better of him at the most unexpected times. Which had left him humiliated, discriminated and laughed at.

He then resolved to accept himself for who and what he is. Though acceptance really is 'easier said than done', he's far better from being the closet, denial queen he once was. He's still in that so-called closet but coming out will be something that he'll deal with when he gets there.

"My life story... so far..."


Chapter 27 - out on March 5, 2006

Well, that’s what’s printed on the wrapper of my gift to my latest godson, Ralph. Though the saleslady at National Bookstore insisted that it is intended for wedding gifts, I just ignored her meddling and proceeded to the wrapping section. It says 'Born from Love' and isn't it that a baby is born from love?

Imagine my elation when my college friend, Leslie, asked me to be a second father to her and Franco’s firstborn. Old folks say that one should not reject an offer to be a godparent or the life the baby would spell bad luck. But that’s not the reason why I accepted this sincere offer.

It is an honor to be considered that you are worthy of being a second parent. It's not all about giving your inaanaks gifts come Christmas time but it's your Kumpare's and Kumare's trust that you are will look after your godchildren just like their biological parents will do. Also, being a godparent hallmarks the bond of friendship between you and your mates, though the term of endearment you’ll be now using would be Mare and Pare. (Pare, pa-kiss! Hehehe!)

It was also the first for me to attend a formal christening. Circumstances had prevented me to attend to previous baptism ceremonies of my other godchildren. This time, I reserve my calendar just for the occasion. It's also a chance to see old friends that I haven't seen for quite a while (and a grand excuse not to render OT that day, hehehe).

And I’m really glad I did. Ralph is such a cutie I can't help but to wish I had a Ralph of my own. Haayy!

My friends and I had a grand time reminiscing college days. How we cut classes and waste our time smoking in SM Centerpoint, how we cheat during exams and how we spent those 'group studies' drinking booze. And how we ended up now as parents and godparents.

But the grandest time that day is when one of my friend's baby, also my god daughter, learning a new word that day as taught by her crazy ninongs and ninangs. Look at Baby Ayen finally getting the word right:

Can you guess what the word her foolish ninongs and ninangs were teaching her? Clue: Meet the Fockers!

To Ayen and Ralph: Hope you'll be as beautiful and intelligent as your (fairy) godfather but not as complicated as he is!