Warning: This post contains obscene language.


I was quite taken aback by this remark but decided against retaliating. What’s there to prove anyways? My lack of response had probably irked him more. He went on a litany saying things like I won’t be hired if not for him, because he had wanted to have another gay in the office who can paint the office red with him. That he thought that I would blew my straight act once hired and be as gay as I can be. Well, he thought wrong.


I don’t want to engage in a verbal catfight with him that time but I was really offended by his last remark. I can feel my face turning red – I was humiliated, angry and trying very hard not to lose my temper. I really wanted to slap his smirking face that time but thought better of it. I excused myself and told him to just email me on updates about my payroll queries.


I instantly decided to keep as much distance between T and me, and to just ignore his presence if I can help it. That our relationship will be strictly professional, after all, we’re still officemates and we’re bound to interact every now and then because of work.I went on with my usual day-to-day activities, but spending more time with my straight guy officemates now that I’m not that associated with T. It turned out that they don’t like him that much as well. That they find his jokes quite dirty and offensive – to which all I can say is: No comment!


Hanging out and getting cozy with my straight officemates proved to be more rewarding than I thought – that it really depends on the person, gay or not, to earn the respect of others, that they will only become homophobic if you give them reason to be one. I became one of the guys, technically I am one of them but because of my preference I had my reservations.


They’re really fun to be with, those guys! I always thought that only girls talk. But men, I believe the phrase kiss-and-tell was invented for them. How I laugh my tonsil off everytime they narrate their sexcapades and trysts. I can just shake my head in disbelief everytime they brag about their size and technical know-hows in bed, as if saying they’re God’s gift to women. I had my share of tell-tales as well, but only when they ask, though some of their questions require detailed explanation of how things are done the gay way. I had gone only as far as to tell how gay guys flirt, how gays can tell who is straight or not, things like that. I don’t dare go discuss things that in my opinion straights won’t understand. Good thing they don’t insist if I say I’m not comfortable.


Most topics of conversation when I’m with the boys are girls, sex, girls, sex, girls and sex. It was one lazy Saturday half –day afternoon when were killing time talking about, uhm, sex again. One of the guys is so busy telling us how long he can hold it as long as his butt would be left alone and untouched, otherwise he would finish quite prematurely. Our conversion then had a major swing when he commented on how my behind was barely there. I usually wear low-waist paints and I was really skinny then so that part of my body is not really endowed. He went on to say:


Officemate 1: Marlon, wala ka ng puwet, ah. Lagi mo sigurong kasama si Mary Palmer, no?
Me: Oo naman, masarap eh. Masarap naman talaga, di ba? Safe pa! (Obviously, I’m not as active then, lols!)
Officemate 2: Ako mga pare, bihira kong gawin yan, pag wala lang akong pambayad, hahaha!
Officemate 1: Pucha pare, kaya ka pala laging walang pera eh. Kaya pala napaka-kuripot mo!

Just then, T passed by us and decided to intrude because of the noise and laughs that were making. His worst move ever.


T: Ano yung pinagtatawanan ninyo? Sali naman ako.
Officemate 1: Ikaw, Sir T? Mahilig ka rin bang mag-jakol?
T: Naku ha, never kong ginawa.


He said with conviction, as if saying that he won’t do it even if his pathetic life is depended on it. Of course, we don’t believe him. When my other officemate made him swear, he obligingly did. Talk about baloney! Between our laughs I said:


Me: Hay naku, Sir T! Kung hindi ka nagjajakol, papuputol ko kamay ko.


Although I did not say which arm I’m willing to get amputated, the one I use for jacking off or the other, all of us burst laughing really hard and loud, except T who was dumbstruck that very moment. T, who can’t quite think on his feet [of a counter-statement] that time, just walked away and left us alone still laughing at my last statement.


Revenge is really sweet.


So, who’s the hypocrite now?

Hypocrisy -
1. [n] insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have
2. [n] an expression of agreement that is not supported by real conviction


I bumped recently into T, a former officemate, who by the way, had given me a hard time in one of the previous companies I worked for.


You see, T is the HR Executive in that company. He was actually the first one in the company that I met, having interviewed me when I'm still applying for the position. One look at him, and you can easily tell that he is gay. It's like written all over his face. He need not talk or walk or do anything, just look at him and his genes will tell what his preference is.


He's very comfortable being gay and has quite an admirable self humour about it. He's quite likeable, amiable and fun to be with. There's never a dull moment whenever T is around. Always cracking jokes and always making sure that nobody will feel out of place or being left behind.


I admire his zest for fun, but I never liked T, he's just too loud for me. I know that there's really nothing wrong him being like that if it's his own person. I honestly admire him for being carefree and oblivious of what other people might say.


But the problem is, he wants me to be like him. The countless times when he told me "Magpakatotoo ka" had only strengthen my resolve not to be anything like him. Those times that I said no to be his cruising companion, rejected his invites for a night at those bars with gyrating, almost naked macho dancers and his other activities that were too vulgar for my taste, well that only that time - had probably made this invisible barrier between us.


I just realized one day that his snide are a little bit off, which doesn't strike me as funny anymore. He would burst in our department and tell stuff about this certain gay that he know who can't accept his real self - quite obviously referring to me. I just shrugged it off.


His worst verbal attack came on that certain day when I went to HR department to inquire about a miscomputation on my payroll. I found him and a whole bunch of cohorts laughing at their heart’s content.


Seems like T is going on with is usual funny antics and newly invented gay jokes and anecdotes. Much as I want to get my queries answered and done asap, I decided to linger for a little while and listen to his narratives. His stories were just plain hilarious, as usual. But his last punchline didn’t made as much impact. He used a certain gay jargon, which his audience can't quite get. When asked about what that word means, he blurted:


"Tanungin ninyo si Marlon, I’m sure alam na alam niya kung ano yun. Di ba, Marlon?"


I really had no idea what he's talking about. I can't even remember what the word is even now, so I said I have no idea what it is. Because of that, he verbally accused me in front of everybody - of being a hypocrite.


to be concluded...

It’s been 365 days, from that fateful day I decided to have my own blog, rather than read Cecil’s - thus, the birth of Complicated Dude.


Yeah, it’s the bitch’s fault why I’m hooked, lolz! But I’ll never be as good as her, she just kicks major ass. (Dude, congrats on being chosen as Philippines Style Links Winner for Best Blog Writer for May. I think a treat is in order, hehehe! Congrats again.)


It’s been a year but I still don’t know what exactly a blog is and why it is called as such. Is it an acronym or abbreviation for something?


Bitchings of Life, Oh Golly?


Probably not. I know log means journal, so what could B in blog stands for?


Boring? Boring Log = BLOG.


I know this is really non-sense. What a way to have an anniversary post, huh?


Honestly, there’s a lot of things I want published here but…


I can’t seem to get the words out. I can’t blame my work though for not updating, coz usually I can manage to find time in my perpetually stressful work to blog or at least make a draft.


Ok, I'll make a half-confession.


I’m bothered. And that’s the most I can say.

The phrase "as unpredictable as the weather" is so very true. Literally.


April definitely was a hot month, but weather analysts or meteorologists warned of an even warmer and more humid temperature this month. That the 42 degrees (the hottest this year) feverish heat recorded the previous week in Tuguegarao is far from being a record holder. Let's all sweat, wait and see if it gets hotter than that.


It’s almost a blissful experience taking a shower in the morning. Before, I am done after a 30-minute shower-rinse-shampoo-rinse-soap-rinse again-conditioner-10 minutes wait-then rinse bathroom marathon. Now, I can barely finish this ritual in an hour. Don’t you just love to get soaked perpetually under the showerhead? This extended showers resulted to me barely beating the 9:05 AM tardiness cut-off.


HR Dept. in the office is thankfully cooperating, not with latecomers but with the hot weather. I mean they were so strict before with the ‘corporate attire’ requirement – slacks, long sleeves shirt and tie. Now, wearing a slack and short-sleeved shirt won’t make you a candidate for an office memo. Good thing, because I can’t imagine myself almost covered from head to toe on a hot, summer day. Not that I religiously comply with this so-called dress code but the policy modification had given us some license to dress more comfortably.


Yesterday, I wore my most comfortable and summer friendly short-sleeved shirt, not even bothering to wear an undershirt or sando because of the heat. It was scorching most of the day as expected. But later the day, as I was about to go home, it rained.


It rained as in heavy rainfalls, with thunderstorms and lightning to boot. Good thing our office is very near to SM Megamall that I was not as rain-soaked as I can be had I left the office five minutes later. If I had, 'Complicated Dude in his dripping, rain-soaked, nipples-revealing, wet shirt' would have been the most embarrassing moment of my life.


It seemed like its gonna rain for hours, so I decided to have an unplanned purchase of umbrella in anticipation of the worst. Its not so surprising that I was a little disappointed when the rain suddenly stopped as I made my way outside the mall and to the FX terminal. So much for the umbrella, but then again, they say that an umbrella is always handy – rain or shine. I decided to always bring my unused umbrella with me starting today. Now knowing how unpredictable the weather is, I’m not taking my chances.

Considered as a breakthrough to our local television landscape, this opus by Mr. Chito Roño easily captured Filipino's penchant for sci-fi flicks. Though fantasy movies almost always dominate the silver screen's box - office, the genre had found another home - our TV sets. There's Darna, Marina and Mulawin - all proved to be top - raters. And then there's SPIRITS.





Blame my teen sisters for getting hooked with the show. The cast which consists mostly of young talents, had given the shaw its fresh and juvenile appeal. The story is not entirely unique and original (a local version of X-men, I think), but is an altogether a breath of fresh air in the current primetime slots dominated by Korean novelas and not-so tear jerking soap operas.





Teenagers with supernatural and psychic powers find their way fighting the dark side, at the same time growing up at a crucial young adult stage. Banking on its storyline and teenagers-drawing cast, SPIRITS is one of the shows that defined this generation. I just hated it sometimes when the storyline focuses too much on the love - triangle of some of the characters.


Now on it's last week of airing, kudos to Chito Roño and cast for a job well done. I will certainly miss seeing Lloyd, Gabby and Red and all of it's characters.


But most of all, I'll miss this song after each episode!


YOU'LL BE SAFE HERE
By: Rivermaya


Nobody knows Just why we're here
Could it be fate Or random circumstance
At the right place At the right time
Two roads intertwine


And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives To make us Fuel and fire
Then know Where ever you will be
So too shall I be


Chorus:


Close your eyes Dry your tears
'coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here


From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here


Remember how we laughed Until we cried
At the most stupid things Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong


And though the world would Never understand
This unlikely union And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe


When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here


Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here



Pictures courtesy of http://www.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/show-gallery-spirits.aspx